Vivid dreams, anyone? I've been having some funky ones in the past few months, but last night's took the cake. 

I was neutralizing vampires. I know, you might think I was staking them through the heart and turning them to dust, Buffy style, right? Wrong. Turns out, to really hurt vampires, you bless them. That's right. "In Jesus' name, I bless you. May you be filled with light." I was looking at vampires writhing on the ground in agony while I was saying things like this. The most dramatic reaction came from the one whose T-shirt I pulled up, then placed my palm on his naked skin. Boy, did he howl.

The most difficult case was the vampire who'd somehow taught himself to be the perfect pastor. I was blessing him, and he was on the ground, but he wasn't exhibiting the normal signs of being hurt. "Praise Jesus! Yes, praise his holy name!" this obviously disingenuous vamp was spouting from his mouth. It didn't sound genuine at all, but he'd desensitized himself to regular blessings. He knew his Bible forwards and backwards and he was a pseudo-minister. Insidious, right? 

The only thing that would hurt this minister vamp was a small electric whisk-type thing that I used to scrape off skin cells from his nose. Don't ask why, but that's what got him in the end. I never killed any of these vampires, by the way. I only hurt them. 

Anyway, now you know. If anyone in your life is acting like an energy vampire, you might want to try blessing them with all you've got. If that doesn't work, there's always the mini electric whisk for scraping off the skin on their noses, although something tells me you shouldn't bother to look for a product like that on Amazon.


Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

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