50 years of life

I'll be 50 years of age in less than three weeks. There won't be a party. There won't be a celebration. I'll have to take my kids to an amusement park on my birthday, but I won't be going on any rides because I'm not young anymore. 

Back then, in my twenties and thirties until I had children, I loved to go on amusement park rides. I also had a good job and even some money to spare. How things change when you're old. Now I spend all of my money on basic necessities, food, clothing, and shelter, and I buy things for my children. If there's any cash left over, there's always the kids' college funds and my own rainy day savings account where the money should go. 

Nobody understands how good they have it as young, childless, carefree people who can work in the field they went to college for. I worked as a newspaper copy editor for 10 years, and now there's very little work to be had in the newspaper field anymore. Things change. 

All I can hope for is that I'll stay alive until my kids are old enough to take care of themselves. After that I can disappear from the face of the Earth. Really. My fondest daydream is to live as a hermit somewhere until my body gets too old. Statistically, women my age can look forward to a life expectancy of about 78 years. 

Fifty done, 28 more to go! 

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